Hiccups
by ash-nobody
Summary: As a newbie, Roxas has no idea what hiccups are, but he sure does hate them. One shot.


Hiccups

Chapter One

"Axel!"

Axel groaned and covered his face with his pillow. Maybe if he ignored his unknown intruder long enough, they would take the hint and leave. He didn't know what they wanted, but he was sure that if it disturbed his sleep, he wouldn't want to do it.

Soon the yelling was accompanied by repeated banging on the door. The voice sounded like Xion, but it also sounded like more than one person was knocking rather obnoxiously on the door. Roxas? He didn't spend too much time pondering over it, though. If it were a real emergency, Xemnas would call them together, and Axel would sleep through that.

Axel was so focused on trying to ignore the unwelcome noise that he didn't notice when it stopped. No, he didn't notice until a gloved hand was shaking at his shoulder.

"Axel, wake up, please!" the person (Xion?) hissed. "There's something wrong with Roxas!"

He sighed. "Is he going to explode?"

"I don't know!"

"Is he currently or in the process of becoming a dusk?"

"Like I said, I do not know!"

"Fine," he grumbled as he uncovered his head. He looked up at the two Nobodies standing at his bed. Xion was grasping Roxas' wrist. They both looked scared and panicky, the same way they do whenever Saix is going berserk. Roxas' eyes were especially wide, and a thin layer of sweat covered his forehead. "What's wrong?"

"There's this strange noise that's coming from Roxas," Xion explained. And, right on cue,

_Hiccup._

Roxas covered his mouth with his hands as if to force the sound back in.

"See? It's weird, and we don't know how to stop it!"

Axel looked at Roxas through sleepy eyes. "Oi, Xion, why isn't he talking?"

"He's afraid he's going to loose his voice forever if he does."

_Newbies,_ Number VIII thought as he rubbed his eyes. What were you going to do with them? "Calm down guys," he said, voice groggy with sleep. "You just have hiccups. At the most, it will be annoying."

Roxas frowned. _Really?_ he mouthed.

"Yeah. And you can talk, Roxas. You won't loose anything."

He sighed in relief. "So how do I get rid of them?"

"Easy. It will go away by itself in a little while."

"But I want them gone now! They're annoying and bumpy."

_Hiccup._

"Then why the hell are you asking me for help? Ask Vexen. He's the doctor in this group."

Xion raised an eyebrow. "Axel, Vexen died in Castle Oblivion, remember?"

"He what? Oh, right…when I--" He quickly stopped that sentence before he accidentally admitted to killing the Organization member. "Okay, I'll help. But you have to do exactly as I say, alright?"

The two nodded in agreement. Five seconds later, they weren't so sure.

"Axel, what exactly are you going to do again?" Roxas asked.

"I already told you. I hold you upside down by your ankles, and you hold your breath. Any more questions?"

The three were still in Axel's room; Axel and Roxas were standing in the center to have more room, and Xion was sitting on the bed, worried about her friends. She knew they could be quite childish at times. Try adding superpowers to that, and you've got an atomic bomb on your hands.

Roxas shook his head. "I dunno…"

Axel sighed. "Do you want these hiccups gone or what?"

"_Hic-_I mean, yeah, I--" He yelled as Axel grabbed him by the ankles and held him upside down. "Ah! Axel!"

"Hold your breath! I can't hold you all day!"

"Ahhh--_hic_--ahhhh!!!!"

"I don't think this is working," Xion pointed out, having to yell over the panicking Roxas.

Axel scoffed. "What do you mean? It's fine. Right, Roxas?"

Roxas responded by freaking out even more. He flailed his arms about, kicking his feet and pounding at Axel's legs to let him go.

"Roxas, stop that! I--ow!"

His foot came in contact with the pyro's face. He dropped him in reaction, and he landed on the ground head first.

Xion sighed and shook her head. "Boys."

The three friends sat in the Kitchen That Actually Was, Only Xemnas Refused To Acknowledge It. Roxas had an icepack on his head. Xion handed one to Axel, who placed it on his chin. In all the commotion, Roxas had a bruised head, and Axel had a split lip, remnants of their little squabble.

Oh, and Roxas still had hiccups.

Demyx entered the kitchen, oblivious at first to the atmosphere. "Hey, guys! What's up?"

Roxas groaned, catching the attention of Number IX. He looked down at him. "Are you okay? Wait, are any of you okay?"

Axel shook his head. "Roxas here has the hiccups, and we were trying to get rid of them.

"Did it work?"

_Hiccup._

"Does it sound like it?" Xion grumbled.

"Hmm…" Demyx peered at Roxas, his finger on his chin in some sort of thinking face. "I've heard that water helps get rid of hiccups. Wanna try it?"

Roxas nodded eagerly. "Please."

"Okay, all we need is a cup of water."

"Saix ruined the pipelines last time he went Berserk, so we can't get any water up here until it gets fixed," Xion sighed.

"And Xigbar was using the dishes and cups as target practice," Axel reminded them.

_Hiccup._

Demyx let out a whistle. "Well, Roxas, it looks like the universe hates you. You're going to have to live with hiccups forever."

"What?" His eyes went wide, fully believing the Nobody.

Axel threw his hands in the air in frustration. "Why are we even going through the trouble? These hiccups will go away soon!"

"What about that guy who can't get rid of his?" Demyx pointed out.

"Fine. These hiccups will go away _eventually._"

"Liar," the suddenly bitter Xion hissed.

_Hiccup._

Demyx gasped. "Wait a second! I have a plan!" He motioned to Xion and Axel. "You two, get back here. Roxas, stand against that wall."

They did as he said, though hesitant in doing so. He summoned his Sitar and started explaining his plan.

"See, I can make water appear, so I can make water go to Roxas, and he'll drink some and loose his hiccups!"

Xion bit her lip. "I dunno, Demyx. You can kind of over react…"

"Dance, water, dance!" he yelled, and brought down his arm.

Immediately a large powerful blast of water hit Roxas, splashing all around the kitchen. By the time it ended, there was a foot of water on the floor, and Roxas was laying unconscious in it.

"Roxas!" They ran to his side. Axel slapped him in the face. "Hey, say something! I'm not giving you CPR!"

Roxas' eyes opened a bit. "Ax..el?"

Axel nodded, smiling. "Yeah?"

_Hiccup._

"_Smack…Dem...yx…for…me…please…"_

_He nodded and thrust his fist behind him, hitting Demyx in the jaw. He staggered back, his hand over his face. "What was that for?" he demanded._

_Xion shrugged. "If you weren't such an idiot, I'd get you an ice pack."_

"_What is this?" Xigbar stood in the door way, the water rushing out of the room around his feet. "Did Saix go berserk again?"_

_Since Axel was trying to bring Roxas back to consciousness without having to touch lips and Demyx was searching for a ice pack, Xion took it upon herself to explain the situation to Xigbar. When she finished, he laughed. "That's it?"_

_Xion's eyes lit up. "Can you save him?"_

"_Sure. Roxas, come with me."_

_Roxas struggled to his feet and limped after Xigbar into another room. The door closed, and the kitchen was quiet._

_Axel looked up at his head. "Aw, Demyx! The humidity is messing up my hair!"_

_Demyx laughed. "You look like you have an afro!"_

_Suddenly the door opened and Roxas came running out, screaming at the top of his lungs. He dashed for the exit, leaving the three Nobodies staring after him._

_Xigbar stood in the doorway, rearranging his eye patch over his eye socket. "Well, that takes care of that. No more hiccups."_

"_What did you do?" Axel asked in awe and fear._

_Number II chuckled. "Haven't you guys heard that scaring someone gets rid of hiccups?" He turned and left. "Oh, and you're going to have to explain the mess."_

_Xion shrugged. "Hey, I'm technically not a part of this Organization." She poofed away._

_Axel sighed. "Demyx, we're in trouble."_

"_Yeah."_

_Saix stood in front of Demyx and Axel, wearing his scariest non-berserker face. "Well? What happened?"_

"_Roxas had hiccups," Axel told him. His hair was a giant afro now, thanks to the humidity._

"_So you drowned the kitchen?" Saix shook his head. "You have no idea how much it will cost to replace those wooden cabinets."_

_Demyx hesitatingly raised his hand. "Um, might I just point something out?"_

_Axel shrugged. "We're going to die anyway now. Say whatever."_

"_Okay. Well, um…remember how Roxas had hiccups?"_

_Saix looked down at the water soaked floor. "How can I forget?"_

"_Right, well, hiccups come from a breathing muscle that gets sleepy. And you need a respiratory system, and that brings oxygen into your blood, and the blood goes to your heart, so we do have hearts!" he finished, smiling at his theory._

_Axel shook his head. "Man, you're stupid."_

_Demyx hung his head in shame._

_A/N: One of my very first fanfics ideas, and I finally finished it. *Fanfare*_

_I got the idea when I myself had hiccups. It's a horrible disease. Annoying, loud, and it makes you jump._

_So just in case you're sleep deprived like me and didn't get it, Xigbar scared the hiccups out of Roxas by showing him what was underneath his eye patch. I won't tell you what horrors wait there. Let your imaginations run free with ideas._

_Delightfully yours,_

_ash~nobody_


End file.
